Sending off 2012, Welcoming 2013

Overall, the plan to run back to back races was a success!  It didn't hurt that the weather was extremely cooperative. The Fairfax Four Miler was first up, at 6 pm on the 31st. I've run this race twice before and been very pleased with my times. I knew it was going to be different, however, because I am undertrained. I also needed to save something for tomorrow morning. Not that I'm good at that. I love racing and I've never been able to take it easy on race day. My ego just doesn't like it. That being said, you can probably guess what happened.

D and I raced. We agreed on a mile split before we started but once we settled in on the course, we were nearly two minutes ahead of that time. Oops. I've gone out too fast before and paid for it, but this time I tried to hang on. D lets me set the pace and so far I haven't run him into the ground. Mile two was faster than the first, the third was slower, and then the fourth was light speed. It didn't hurt that the remaining 800 meters or so was downhill....

The time definitely didn't seem to reflect the amount of effort expended but we were both happy. I like this race and I plan on doing it again next year. My hip held up pretty well during the race but I was experiencing some pain for hours afterwards. It definitely made me concerned for the 5k to come. We stopped for dinner on the way home, showered, and hit the sack. Neither of us are big on the "holiday" so it was nice to just crash and prepare for the following morning.

Next up, the Reston New Years Day 5k. At the outset, I was tempted to bail. I wasn't tired but my hip was hurting pretty badly. It hurts worse to walk than run, so I was hoping that once we got started that it would be ok. And I reminded myself that it was just a 5k, we did our racing last night, and this was supposed to be fun. We ran into a few friends at the start line and they were planning to run for fun too.  Once the race started, there was no going back.

At no point did I settle into a comfortable pace, although this time we stuck to the goal we'd set for the morning. I couldn't have gone faster if I wanted to. My hip did loosen up as expected but my legs were just TIRED. Two races in less than 24 hours is definitely a challenge. I look back to the double I did earlier this year and I am amazed that I pulled it off. I was leaps and bounds ahead of where I am now, so there really is no point in comparing.

We finished and I flashed a big smile for the race photographer at the end. One bagel and a bottle of water later, it was time to go home. Goal achieved. My hip feels really good today and I haven't the slightest idea why. I'm not going to question it, though. We spent the rest of yesterday being lazy bums and today has been no different. I have a track workout tonight at 6:30, so I'm giving these legs as much rest as I can before then.

I didn't meet all the goals I'd set for myself in 2012. I need to learn to expect the unexpected and that was one of the lessons I learned the hard way. I did have some amazing experiences throughout the year and I do not want to take away from them in any way. Ragnar Relay might be at the top of that list. I have a few races scheduled for 2013 but I think I'm going to be a little more cautious and a bit more open to surprise this year. Between the Shamrock Marathon in March and the Endurance Challenge 50k in June, the spring is spoken for.

I can enjoy a nice recovery during the sweltering summer when I'd normally be  training for the fall. And come fall? Who knows. There are so many things I want to try for the first time and so many races I want to face again with a vengeance. 2013 has started on the right foot and I will continue to build on that. I've recruited some new supporters that are going to help me iron out issues off the road that impact my performance on the road. It is all a little scary but exciting.

School starts up again in just about two weeks and I'm actually looking forward to it. My internship is also about to begin and I can't begin to express my excitement about that. Between school, interning, working, and running I will once again be carrying a heavy load. But I'm confident in my ability to handle it all, if not with grace then with a little style. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and are ready to take on the new year, come what may!

2012 wrap up

Another long hiatus from posting. Juggling grad school and two jobs got the best of me there for a while, but the semester is over so I finally have time to breathe and post. Since my last post I have run three races and have one more on the docket before 2012 comes to a close.

In early November I ran the Richmond 8k, dropping down from the marathon due to lack of training and my bum hip. It was nowhere near an ideal race and I'm pretty sure the time was a personal worst. The silver lining of that weekend was finally meeting up with R in person for a long overdue dinner. She's such an amazing person and a huge support in my life. She was in town to race the half, and did a killer job.

Later in the month D and I raced the Arlington Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving day. I still hadn't been running much and my hip was still giving me trouble but we were both hoping to beat our previous 5k time from the September race. It was a brisk morning and neither of us were fully awake when the race started. It was hillier than we expected but were able to duck under the September time with a few seconds to spare. I ended up running the last half mile with my shoe untied but there was no way I was going to stop. Glad I didn't trip and fall on my face...

About ten days later a group of employees from PR got together and raced the Jingle All The Way 8k. In costume. This was my third 8k of the year. For some strange reason it was a regular fixture in my racing season. Dressed up in various holiday garb, we hit the streets and tried our best to place strongly in the team competition. It was another weak showing for me and just added to the anxiety I had about marathon training. My time, slowest of all, didn't go towards the group total. Thank goodness. The rest of my team did great and we placed ninth out of fifty teams. Consensus was that had we raced sans costumes we would have gotten sixth place. A lesson for next year I guess.

Once I got home I pulled up my previous 8k times out of curiosity. Until this year I hadn't run once since 2007 and it was my fastest of the lot. As this year went on I got slower and slower. Strangely enough the fastest of this year was in the heat of July on the day I'd run 12 miles earlier in the morning. I guess I was just in better overall shape. Either way, I am not eager to run this distance again any time soon. Similar to the Cherry Blossom 10 miler, I feel like this might be one that requires redemption.

Next up is the Fairfax Four Miler on New Years Eve. This will be my third time running this race but it will also probably be my slowest. I had a great PR last year but I am nowhere near the same condition. I've also registered to run the New Years Day 5k at 10 am the following morning, so I need to be smart with my racing strategy. It might be a little crazy but I'm looking forward to it. I don't particularly like New Years but this gives me something fun to do and a great excuse to go to bed early.

Santa brought me an awesome race bib holder that I'd had my eye on for a while now. I loaded it up with all the bibs I could find, going as far back as 2005. I am definitely missing a few but I pretty much filled the dang thing up already. If my counting is correct, by the end of the year I will have raced 14 times in 2012. Not all were planned and not all that were planned came to pass. Either way, I'm happy with that number.

As 2012 comes to a close, I'm in the midst of marathon training for the Shamrock Marathon in March 2013. Between my hip and a complete lack of motivation I am way behind where I should be. I do not have a base built up yet so my long runs are falling short of the schedule. I did go out last week for my first track workout in months and it was a pretty positive experience. I like 800 repeats, even though I was struggling to get through the required amount. I had planned on attending last night's track workout in the inclimate weather but the drive home from NY took 9.5 hours instead of 5 and I was still an hour away when the workout started.

Grr. I'm also missing the group long run on Saturday morning so that I can drive to West Virginia for my sister's baby shower. The goal was to get in three runs this week and build from there, but at this rate it is not going to happen. I ran Monday with my Dad while I was home and that was it. Tuesday was Christmas Day and yesterday was the epic drive. I don't have a good reason for not running today, aside from the 50 mph wind gusts. If I can get a ride home from work tonight, I could run there. I plan on attempting my long run tomorrow so that I don't fall farther behind. The hope is to do 10 miles but each run has been unpredictable lately so who knows what it will turn out to be.

I'm going to scale back expectations for 2013, compared to what I had laid out for 2012. I only have 2 solid races on my calendar and I'm leaving it at that. The first being Shamrock in March, the second being the North Face Endurance Challenge 50k in June. Not exactly small potatoes, eh? I love signing up for races and I love racing. I have, however, discovered that I hate training. It just isn't fun. But nothing worth something is easy, so I'll keep on pushing through. The 50k is both terrifying and exciting. I can't spend too much time thinking about it yet, as my full attention needs to be on Shamrock. I convinced R to race the full, my brother in law to race the full, and for D to race the half. We've already got hotel reservations squared away and it looks to be a great weekend.

I think I've covered the last two months pretty thoroughly. Thanks for staying with me this far. I'll be back in a few days with a recap of my New Years double. I hope everyone is staying warm!  Happy Holidays, and thank you for getting me through the intensity that was 2012.

MCM 10k and a diagnosis

Happy Halloween, everyone!  I hope you have a day full of treats. If you're anything like me, you never get trick or treaters at your apartment but still buy three bags of candy "just in case." Don't judge me.

As promised, here is a recap of the MCM 10k. The weather, despite all the doomsday predictions, was fine. A little chilly at the start, but perfect for running.  I got to the starting area about 45 minutes early, so I had the pleasure of watching the sun rise over the Capital building. I was with A and we had planned to warm up, but she was adamant that she hit up the porta-potty before the race started, despite how long the lines were. We waited up until and after the race started, much to my annoyance. When A was finally ready to go, the last group of runners were edging their way over the start line.

This meant that we'd be dodging slower walkers and runners for at least the first mile, if not more, trying to make up ground and get to the pack we should have started with. I was definitely not happy. A and I spent the first 2 miles together but split shortly after, which was fine with me. We had difference races to run. I spent all 6.2 miles passing people. On one hand it was a nice ego boost, but on the other I never caught up with anyone that would challenge me to run faster. I had to get all my motivation internally, which isn't exactly my strong suit.

The 14th street bridge was just as long as I'd remembered. Ugh. The entirety of the course was familiar to me, thanks to training runs and last year's marathon. I just needed to pay attention to my hip and adjust accordingly. My longest run in the past month had been 3 miles, so I wasn't entirely prepared. The loop through Crystal City was fine, which left the stretch of 110 to Iwo Jima. I knew going into this that a PR was not possible, similar to the 5k from the week before. It was a disappointment but I'm learning to let things like that go.

I picked up the pace for the last mile, as best I could, and stormed the hill leading up to the finish line. For once I got a race photo that wasn't showing me shuffling or grimacing. If it didn't cost an arm and a leg, I'd buy it. I really like the determination on my face and the fact that I'm mid-stride.

I finished in 1:05 and change, which is about 7 minutes off my PR. I was relieved to be done and glad that I can muscle out a distance over 3 when the occasion calls for it.  Richmond is 10 days away and I'm feeling better about the 8k now that the 10k is done. I haven't run since Sunday, thanks in part to the weather, but will be running to work tomorrow for certain. I set a running goal for November and I'm looking forward to taking it on. Here's one last picture, courtesy of a Ragnar buddy I ran into at the finish line.

Now, my hip. I saw my favorite chiropractor on Monday morning and after a quick discussion of symptoms and some manipulation of the area, he pronounced it a case of bursitis. The bursa, I've learned, is a small jelly-like sac that acts as a cushion between bones and soft tissue and helps reduce friction between gliding muscles and bone. There are a number of causes, but in my case it appears to be from overuse. I started experiencing symptoms after Ragnar, which makes perfect sense.

Treatment is non-surgical and pretty straightforward. Option 1 involves avoiding activities that exacerbate the condition. Hmm. Yeah. Running is the least painful activity, surprisingly. Walking, using stairs, and moving from a sitting to standing position are what hurts the most. Slightly harder to avoid. Option 2 involves taking anti-inflammatories, which I was already doing. Right now 4 ibuprofen gelcaps take the edge off, but I need to start taking less because of the possibility of liver damage.

What Mr. Chiro suggested, in the short term (pre-Richmond), is two more appointments with him for adjustment and manipulation. In addition, I need to be using the foam roller at home for a few minutes a day, targeting the hip flexor, hip joint, and periformis on the afflicted leg. I can continue to take pain meds but need to cut it down to 2-3 at a time. I'm not sure how long it will take for this to heal but sooner would be better.

As far as prevention goes it appears that I need to avoid repetitive activity that puts stress on the hips, lose weight (gee, thanks), and maintain/build the strength and flexibility of the hip area. I'm the first to admit that I am terrible at doing exercises/stretches/etc. When I was rehabbing my hamstring, I didn't do the PT exercises as directed and it took twice as long to heal. Dummy. So, what I'm trying to say is that I'd love advice from anyone who has experienced this. I can do the foam roller business, no problem. Beyond that, I'm not sure. All suggestions are welcome, and I can probably get D to nag me to death until I do the requisite exercises. I do want to feel better and come out stronger.

Well, that's that. I have four more short races planned between now and December 31st. I have not looked at 2013 yet; I'm waiting for details on a few races slated for early 2013 before committing to anything. One thing I've learned from my ambitious 2012 plan is that you cannot control what happens. You can register for races until the cows come home but the body will do what it wants to do and you just need to roll with it. This year was nothing like what I'd planned. I don't have regrets but I do have "what ifs" kicking around. I'm guessing most of us do.

I hope everyone who raced this past weekend did well, and I am super proud of all my friends and co-workers that raced a strong Marine Corps Marathon. You're an inspiration to me and I can't wait to get out on the road with you all again soon.

Since you've been gone...

It is a pretty safe assumption that if I am not posting here, I am not running. Post-Ragnar I started to experience significant pain in my left hip. It was painful to walk, so running just seemed like a bad idea. Normally, I'd just run on it, but I'm trying to be more responsible. Sort of. Because of my current work/school situation, I am unable to afford the cost of an evaluation at my doctor. That being said, I've been playing doctor myself and trying to assess and treat it accordingly.

The no-running plan didn't seem to be helping at all and the MCM 10k was approaching very quickly. I hate losing money on registration fees, not to mention kicking myself for being unable to partake of the race experience. Giving up my bib to someone else was just not an option. I've already had to shelve the marathon this year because of injury, I'm not about to miss more. So...I decided to run on it. And surprisingly, it hurts less then when I walk or sit. I'll call that a win. I've been getting out a couple of times a week for 2-3 miles at a time.

It hasn't been pretty, as my fitness level is almost back to square one. But I'm trying. Twice a week I run to work, since it is exactly 3 miles from the apartment and a very safe route. I get in another run around the neighborhood, and that is my week. I'm not pushing the distance and just focusing on being comfortable on my feet. As long as the pain doesn't get worse, I'm going to keep on doing what I'm doing.

In fact, to keep myself motivated and reward D for his hard work, we signed up for a small (read: 80 people) 5k in Alexandria last weekend. It was D's first race and he was pretty excited.  I just hoped I could hang in there and make it a good experience for him.  He put me in charge of setting the pace and I had doubts that I could handle it. I wasn't feeling strong at all but it wasn't about my race experience this time. At the gun we headed out and I tried to settle into a pace that I hoped was sub-10.

When we got to the first mile marker, I was on track. We were in the 9 range. I tried to maintain that pace for the second mile and it seemed to be working. Once we passed that marker I decided to see if I could push it at all. It felt harder but I honestly wasn't sure if I was running faster or if I was just getting tired. My watch said we'd probably make it in under 30 minutes, which was my hope. I know that isn't a particularly grand accomplishment, but it meant something to us.

As we round the corner of the course that led onto a high school track, we had 300 meters to go and it was time to see what we had left. D told me earlier in the race not to push it at the end because I was experiencing some pain but I didn't want my discomfort to effect his race so I pushed. We crossed the line in 28:35, 4 minutes off my PR but a victory for both of us. The overall pace was 9:13, and I'm pleased with that. Most of my runs this month have hovered between 10 and 11, aka slug pace.

Due to the size of the event I was able to get 5th in my age group. I won't tell you how many were in that age group, (more than 5) but I was pleased. The age group winner ran close to my PR time, so if I'd been in better condition I could have challenged her. There will always be another race, so I'm not going to sweat it. In fact, I have two more races in the next 2 weeks and 2 more in the month after. Nothing longer than a 10k and enough to keep me on my feet into December.

I am going to run the MCM 10k on Sunday morning. I'm going to cross that finish line and I don't particularly care how I get there, (run, walk, crawl). I know my time is probably going to be a PW, but I did set a 10k PR already this year so I can't be greedy. I'm in very different shape, so I need to adjust my race plan accordingly. I've been reminded by a trusted running friend that I just need to have fun and enjoy the experience. I generally have a hard time doing that, but I'll give it a shot.

I won't be able to run with my usual training partner because of our difference in ability right now, but we're heading in together and we'll meet at the end. I also have the pleasure of meeting up with K at the start, whom I haven't seen in several months. I'm ignoring the weather forecast for the moment. Aside from impacting my wardrobe choices, it isn't going to change anything for me. I'm still racing. I'm not a fair weather runner. Hurricane, schmurricane.

For those of you that are curious, post-MCM racing will be the Richmond 8k (boo), the Arlington Turkey Trot 5k, and the YCF Jingle Bell Jog 5k. That puts me into December and I'm hesitant to plan beyond that. I like doing the Fairfax Four Miler on NYE, but I need to wait and see.

So...that's where I've been and what I've been up to. Before you just to scold me re: the hip, I'll tell you that because of someone's generosity, I will be having an assessment at the chiropractor on Monday morning. I won't be able to pursue an in-office course of treatment at this time, but I will get some answers and some advice. A 10k race report and the results of that visit will be my next post, so fear not. I know you missed me. All 2 of you still reading.

Ragnar 2012, 197 miles, MD to DC

A week later and I've regained full use of my legs!  The details aren't as fresh in my mind anymore, but this was the first spare minute I could find to give everyone an update on how my Ragnar experience went. Before I dive in, feel free to go HERE for the full selection of photos. We were lucky enough to have multiple people snapping pics along the way.

I overslept a bit Friday morning, so ended up a bit rushed to finish packing and then go pick up one of my teammates, Garry. Made it to Takoma on time and met up with the rest of my van-mates. We tossed all the gear and people into the van and were on the road to the first major exchange. I hadn't met two of my van-mates until that morning, as we'd suffered some injuries in the final weeks before the race and  were forced to find last minute replacements. Everyone seemed to hit it off right away and we were all excited and nervous that the day had finally come.

None of us had done a Ragnar Relay before, and had no idea what to expect. Arriving at the first major exchange, there were vans as far as the eye could see. We weren't sure how many teams were participating but found out it was close to 300. We checked in with Ragnar staff, sat through an obligatory safety briefing, and then began the wait for our Van 1 friends to arrive. We snapped a quick group photo of Van 2, ready to go.

Van 1 was burning up the miles, blowing our projections out of the water. We got word that they were minutes away and Laura lined up in the chute to start Van 2's journey back to DC. We couldn't have asked for better weather, but the course itself was pretty unforgiving. Laura and Christine in particular battled some serious hills.  Van 2 chugged right along, also ahead of schedule.  We leap-frogged our runners, making frequent stops to cheer them on and provide any fuel they needed. It was really cool to see how many other teams were out there with us, working towards the same goal and having a blast doing it. Everyone we met along the way was incredibly friendly.

With Laura, Christine, and Garry done, it was my turn to go. Leg 1 for me was 5.7 miles, my longest of the 3. Because of the time of day I'd be running, I was required to wear a blinking tail light, headlight, and reflective vest. How hot do I look?

The leg was very flat, for which I was grateful, but it was one of several legs that was unsupported by the van. That means no cheering, no fuel, nothing. The leg took place almost entirely on a paved trail similar to the W&OD. It ran along the highway, which made the air a bit clogged with exhaust. There were very few runners out on the trail and I felt pretty lonely. I could see a long ways down the trail but the end didn't seem to be getting any closer. I wasn't hitting the pace I'd hope for and was becoming discouraged. Typical me.

I closed in on the exchange point with all the energy I could muster and handed off to Mike, my first leg complete. My van-mates were there with high fives and lots of positive reinforcement but that didn't stop me from having a cry about how slow I was. There wasn't anything I could do about it, but hoped I could make up for it in some way on my second leg.

We cycled through all of Van 2's runners and handed off to Van 1, some time around 10 or 11 pm. We had around 3 hours before our next legs began and grabbed a quick bite at a local spaghetti dinner before heading to the next major exchange. By the time we arrived and parked with the throng of vans we were all desperate for a nap. I sprawled out on one of the van seats and tried to rest. It felt like I had just closed my eyes when it was already time for us to run again. At this point it was around 1:30 am.

Laura took the road and we were off again. As best as I can recall, my second leg started around 4 am. The temperature had dropped significantly and a gentle fog had rolled in.  This leg was 3.6 miles and had van support, hooray! The first mile wove through a small housing development before going back onto the main road. There was nothing out there besides cornfields and the sound of my footfalls. The headlamp provided the only source of light, but it wasn't scary. In fact, it was quite peaceful. The landscape was beautiful, the moon was bright, and I was feeling strong. I passed several runners along the way, putting our team further ahead. Rolling into the exchange, leg 1 was no longer weighing on me and I handed off to Mike and hopped back into the van, all smiles.

Fueling during the course of this relay is one of the biggest hurdles. What to eat, how much, and at what time felt like a total crapshoot. I needed to give myself time to digest before the next leg and therefore not eat too much, but at the same time consume enough calories to stay energized. We had a decent selection of food in the van, but by the time we were done I was so sick of peanut butter, bagels, Luna bars, and gels. All running food in general, honestly.

Once Van 2 cycled through its runners again and handed off to Van 1, we drove to a teammate's house for breakfast and another nap.  An hour or so later it was time to wake up and prepare to race our final legs. The sun was out and it was heating up fast. We were all limping around, feeling the effects of not being able to stretch our legs out at all in the van. Run, sit, repeat. I was a little nervous about my final leg, 4.4 miles on the Mt Vernon trail. I've run this section of trail countless times but my body was not in great condition. Garry flew into the exchange in Rosslyn and I was off for the final time.

My quads were screaming from the first step and I knew this leg was going to be rough. The trail is pretty flat but lacked shade. There was also no van support, so I was on my own again.  Running into a headwind as the sun beat down, my pace quickly faltered. There were countless runners and bikers on the trail, but very few were relay participants so I felt pretty isolated. I had a full handheld of water with me but it didn't last long. Surprisingly, Ragnar did not have a water station along the route and I began to get anxious. At this point, walk breaks were very frequent.

As I was passing Gravely Point I caught a break when a course martial on a bike rode past and asked how I was doing. I told her I was out of water and she pulled a fresh bottle out of her pack and filled my handheld. Lifesaver! I had one mile to go and I felt determined to dig deep and finish strong. I was significantly off pace and keeping my team waiting, for which I felt really bad. With about 400 meters to go I was surprised by our van driver on the trail. He'd come out to meet me, bright me water, and run me in to the exchange. I was really grateful for the company and he kept me at a good pace as I closed in on my final handoff.

Being done felt so good. Our van still had 2 legs left before we reached the finish line at National Harbor, but I was done. AMEN. We piled into the van once more and headed for one more exchange and then the finish line. Our Van 1 teammates were waiting for us about 100 yards from the finish line and we were surrounded by cheering spectators and other teams waiting for their last runner to being it home. We threw on our matching team shirts as our final runner approached and ran together as a team to the finish line.  Everyone was so hyped up! Crossing the line as a team was perfect, as was knowing we'd blown our projected finish time out of the water. Thanks to the collective efforts of some seriously fast teammates, we were done almost two hours early.

After several team photos with our awesome medals, it was time to grab a place to sit and take it all in. Each van was provided with a free pizza and every runner got a free beer. The pizza was gone in seconds, nothing had tasted as good for over a day now. After sitting for about 20 minutes, the real effects of the relay began to sink in. A collective decision was quickly made to hightail it back to the van and go home. We had to drive back to Takoma to empty the van and claim our cars from the driver's house. I was not looking forward to the drive back to Arlington.

As expected, traffic downtown was miserable and it took over 45 minutes before I pulled in to my apartment parking lot. Exhaustion was in full effect and I dropped all my gear just inside the front door and made a beeline for the couch. Luckily, dinner was ready and waiting for me, as was a hot shower. Friday seemed so long ago, time was incredibly distorted thanks to lack of sleep. I was out cold by 9:30 pm (thank you Advil PM) and slept for 14 hours. Getting out of bed and moving around on Sunday was very difficult but totally worth it.

I had an incredible time and would absolutely do it again. My van mates and I started as acquiantances and finished as friends. Talk of future runs together were suggested over email in the days following and I don't doubt that something will come together.  To bring this long post to a close, I'll give you our final results. We came in 42 out of almost 300 teams overall, and claimed 2nd in our division, a huge surprise! Our total time was 28:50:43, with an 8:44 pace. I am incredibly proud of how well we performed, even if I was the slowest one on the team.

I've rested the entire week, and now it is time to refocus. There are still at least 2 more races in the next two months and I want to capitalize on my seemingly healthy legs. I have more to say on the subject, but I'll save it for another post. If you hung in this long, thank you! Ragnar 2013, anybody???

Quickie!

The post I wanted to have here didn't come together in time, so what I'm doing instead is letting you all know that the Ragnar Relay starts tomorrow in Cumberland, Maryland. I'm on team Shoe Believers and we are so pumped to rock this race.  I'll be tweeting along the way, so if you don't follow me already please do @ImTheMarigold.

Wish us all luck, see you on the other side!

Rolling with the punches

Just over a week ago I was out on a long run with my group, putting along and hoping that my legs were going to cooperate for the 10 or so miles I had planned. Silly me. Here comes mile 4, with its sharp and sudden pain. It wasn't in the usual spot on my calf, rather it was just below it and went down the inside of my leg to my ankle. My MD degree makes me think it was my soleus. It was enough that I came up short and limped along for a bit before slowly easing back into a manageable pace. I made it to the water station at mile 6 and decided to keep going, mostly out of sheer stupidity.

I made it back to home base, and then to the apartment, where I applied ice and lay down. I should have stopped my run sooner, considering I spent the rest of the day hobbling. I couldn't even walk down stairs without considerable pain.  I rested and iced for the next few days and the pain really abated. By Tuesday I thought a short test run was in order, as all regular activities were now pain free. I made it halfway up the block before the pain started coming back. This time I decided to bag it and just go home. It wasn't worth it. Clearly something isn't right.  Normally I would call my trusty chiro and take it from there.

Unfortunately, my transition back to graduate school means that I am currently without health insurance. Until further notice.  I don't have the funds to pay for the consult fee, and I've called around to a few other places to get similar quotes. In the meantime, I've had to make some hard decisions around my racing schedule. In the short term, I backed out of the VHTRC Women's Half Marathon that is in two weeks. I got my money back, but I'm still pretty disappointed. I had a great time last year and was looking forward to beating my time.

Next up is Ragnar, which I am still committed to doing. It isn't as simple as backing out of a race because 11 other people are depending on me to show up. Finding a replacement this late in the game would not be easy. I have one of the easier assignments on the race course, so I am not that worried. I just hope that my combination of rest, prayer, yoga, and junk food will heal my leg in time. I'm ignoring the MCM 10k in October for the moment, which means the big kahuna is next on the chopping block. Richmond.

Hotels are booked. Race fees are paid. More than anything else, my pride is what is keeping me from officially withdrawing. My longest successful run is 12 miles. I've missed several long runs in the last month due to injury and vacation, most recently an 18 miler this past weekend. At one point I was going to modify the long run schedule so that I'd be doing less now but eventually catching up with my group by late October. That was before the calf strain, which as of Saturday will have cost me two more weeks.

I have three options at this point. I can withdraw completely, lose $55 or so spent on the race fee, and mope indefinitely. I can drop to the 1/2, which will cost me an additional $35 in transfer fees and is a bit of a gamble considering the mileage I've covered thus far in the season. Lastly, I can drop to the 8k, which will cost me $10 and all my pride. 8k? Really? I think I might rather spectate, honestly. This marathon has been planned for 10 months, I'm travelling with a bunch of badass runners to do it, and dropping to the 8k just reeks of failure.

Sure, I can look on the bright side and just try to be the best little 8k-er there ever was. That just isn't my style at the moment. I don't need to make this decision today, but it does need to be made soon. This "woe is me" attitude sucks and I need to change it. I'm tired of being pissed off but I'm also tired of a body that continues to betray me. Are there other options I'm not considering at the moment? I tend to have blinders on when I get this worked up.

I'm hoping to have health insurance again soon, and when I do my first stop will be to one of the many professionals that have been recommended to me in the last two weeks. If I can get my work and school schedules to coordinate, I also plan to do another test run in the next few days. I can't help it. All this inactivity has me climbing the walls. My bike is set up in the living room but I haven't been able to get myself on it yet. I'm incorporating yoga for the moment, just to feel like I can still move my body and sweat. Not to mention the mental benefits I get out of it. I just......I'm a runner, dammit. I want to run. It shouldn't be this complicated.

So, that is the state of things here. I'm leaning on friends right now to give advice and perk me up. It isn't the end of the world. I just got really lucky last year with the way my training and racing went for MCM. I was foolish to think it would go as well the second time around.  Alright, vent over. Must...end...pity party. Aside from telling me to suck it up and get my head out of my ass, I'd really appreciate some practical advice as to what my next steps should be. I always feel better once I have a plan in place. Control freak, much?