Currently...

This post comes to you courtesy of Beth at Shut Up And Run. I'm working from home today, with a blizzard forecasted to bury us for the next few days. I have another post cooking in my brain but it involves more reflection than I am capable of right now. So, you can enjoy this while I get my thoughts collected. 

Time and Place: 9:39 in the morning. Living room coffee table. Coffee and onesie? Check. 

Cooking: Impending snow = comfort foods. I am 100% certain that there will be grilled cheese and tomato soup happening. 

Awaiting: Um...I don't think I'm waiting on much. Aside from my yearly employee review at work. Always a good time. 

Experiencing: Anxiety from my To Do list. I'd say there are not enough hours in the day, but the truth is I suck at managing the time I have. On the top of that list: updating my training log, reviewing my goals, and writing that super-thoughtful post I mentioned earlier. 

Working On: The aftermath of going out of town and coming back to dive right back into your "two jobs and training and life" life. 

Reading: To keep it simple, I'm just showing you what is on my Goodreads "Currently Reading" shelf. I need variety based on my where or when I'm reading and my mindset. So far, loving everything on this list. 

Listening To: My DVR backlog. First it was the most recent episode of "The Killing Fields" and now it is the most recent episode of "Mom." Allison Janney rocks. 

Craving: A real snow day. Which will not happen unless my office building legit loses power and I can no longer remote access through our VPN. Sigh. 

Hating: Hmm. Hate is a pretty strong word. I would say that I strongly dislike how my brain is handling certain aspects of my training. More details to come. 

Loving: Um. Am I loving something right now? *scans apartment* Oh yeah, our new flooring. As people were moving out we noticed that maintenance was tearing up the carpeting and putting down some kind of hardwood/vinyl thing. Since MS had a long break over the holidays, we asked the leasing office if they would come in and do the same for us, even though we had no plans to move out. They were in and out in a day, and while we still have carpet in the two bedrooms (fine with me), the living room/hallways now have faux wood and it is awesome! I can finally do yoga at home comfortably (and the cat barf is much easier to clean up). 

Anticipating: In case you live under a rock, we are expecting an epic (for this area) snow storm. Jim Cantore is in town, and apparently that means we are totally screwed. YAY SNOW!

Watching: Like my reading, I need variety in my viewing. Aside from my DVR, I've been streaming Breaking Bad (never seen, don't know how it ends, spoil me and I'll hurt you) and Making a Murderer. Yes, I have an opinion on the show, no, I don't think he's innocent. Moving on. 

Promoting: I don't get paid or compensated in any way for any brands or things that I talk about on here, the Facebook page, Instagram, or Twitter. I promote my affiliation with Oiselle and Nuun because I use and love their products. And if I have less than glowing feedback for an item, I share that too. I also love Zensah and my coach, Kyle. 

Avoiding: Work. Clearly. Since I started this post at 9:39 and it is now 10:54. Heh. 

2015 In Review

2015 flew by. I could never have anticipated all of the ups and (mostly) downs that the year brought me. Before I get into all that, I thought I would take a look at the reset post I wrote in early January. I kicked off the year with a 30 day yoga challenge led by Erin Motz, through DoYouYoga. I can't help but be amused at the following statement: 

"Life is so unpredictable and I've learned over time that nothing is set in stone. I can make all the plans in the world but that doesn't mean any of them will work out, no matter how hard I try."

That is absolutely the theme of this year. Unpredictable. Plans gone awry. The idea that I have any semblance of control over anything. How many times can a person learn that lesson? Injury. Treatment. Injury. Setback. Treatment. Repeat. Rather than regurgitate what I've already posted over the course of the year, I'm going to play some High-Low here. Running High, Life High, Running Low, Life Low. 

Running High: Finishing Army Ten Miler. After missing out on other races earlier in the year, crossing that finish line meant the world to me. Even though my first DNF came a few short weeks later, I still see ATM as a turning point in my rehab. It might be taking longer than I want it to, but my body is responding and I will be able to keep running. What a relief!

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Life High: Climbing Gros Piton during my vacation in St. Lucia. It was incredibly strenuous and I had plenty of opportunities to give up. The views on the climb and from the summit were incredible and that ice cold Piton beer after we came back down made it all worth it. I am slowly convincing my brain that my body can do hard things. I may never have a chance to climb it again and I didn't want to have any regrets from that trip. 

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Running Low: Surprisingly, the DNF is not my running low. That low came early in the year, at the NFECS relay in April. I was supposed to be racing in my Oiselle singlet for the first time with three other teammates and another team of four Birds. Instead I hobbled around, got a horrible sunburn, and felt my heart break into so many frustrated and bitter pieces. No amount of "you'll be back out there soon" helped. It just hurt. Period. No picture needed. 

Life Low: I got kicked in the teeth a few times this year, and I think that is par for the course. The biggest hurt continues today as I still mourn the loss of my sweet cat Tucker. He showed signs of illness right before we went to St. Lucia and I was in contact with the vet where he was boarded every day we were gone. The morning after we got home, he went into surgery. We thought we might be able to give him a few months but within three weeks he was gone. I cannot begin to articulate the level of pain I experienced the night we said goodbye and in the days and weeks that followed. Just over three months later and the pain isn't as intense but we miss him every day. I mention him at least once at day as so many things remind me of his happy, silly, dopey personality. His sister struggled too, but she's healing along with MS and I. When the time is right, we will bring another furkid home. Not just yet though. Not just yet. 

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So, 2015. There you have it. It was an absolute test of my mental and emotional strength. I am glad to put it in my rear view but I'm carrying a lot of lessons with me into 2016. I've got a really good feeling about this year. 

Quick hits, links, etc.

Hi everyone! As is always the case, I have the best intentions of updating this blog and then I completely mismanage my time and fail. If anyone has advice on how to work on this, please let me know! I'm keeping this post short for now, as I am post-workout and bordering on hangry. 

The virtual Mustache Dache has closed but there are still plenty of cities across the country where you can get in on it in person. For a reminder on what this is about, check out the original post HERE. Don't forget to use the code FALLDOWNGETUP for 10% off. DO IT. 

I'd also like to let you know that I am now a Spartan race affiliate! They have some incredible races coming up, including Sprints in both Miami, FL and Los Angeles, CA the first weekend of December. I am in the process of getting a specific Spartan affiliate page added to this site, but me + html = trainwreck, so please bear with me. In the meantime, please use this link below to get $10 off a Spartan race! 

Get $10 off a Reebok Spartan Race! Use Code: SPEAR10, Sign Up Today!

In other news, I had the opportunity to take a day-long coaching class through my local speciality run store. They offer numerous training programs over the course of the year that reach runners of every level and ability. As much as I enjoy working with runners in the store environment, I would love the opportunity to work with them in a coaching environment. I know there are numerous ways to become a coach, and I am researching many. However, this chance to get my feet wet, share my running knowledge through both personal and professional experience, and get new runners on the road was something I couldn't say no to.  I will certainly share more of this journey as it continues to involve. 

Lastly, if you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, (why don't you?) you may have noticed the daily appearance of the hashtag "chasethebird."  Oiselle issued a challenge to any and all to do at least 15 minutes of exercise every day from November 1 to November 26. While I am not good at streaks of any kind, this one has gone very well. I actually look forward to getting it done and have managed to do so despite 12 hour workdays, long road trips, and other life shenanigans. Run, spin, lift, yoga. A little bit of everything, which keeps both my body healthy and my brain interested. There are only 4 more days left to go, and I'm going to be a little bummed when it is over. Perhaps a December challenge is on the horizon...

That is all for now, random bits and pieces, but that is life. Thanks for stopping by!

The dreaded DNF

It truly was inevitable. Commit to running over the course of a lifetime and many things will eventually happen. Fun things, scary things, gross things. Also, sad things. Like crossing the start line but not crossing the finish line. The dreaded Did Not Finish. I think I am incredibly lucky to have run for as long as I have and only now experienced a DNF for the first time. Here is how it went down.

The Parks 10k was this past Sunday at West Potomac Park in DC. Full disclosure: I hadn't run since ATM. Spinning a lot, sure, but not running. I spent the three days before the race battling my first cold of the season and lingering pain in my left calf kept my butt glued to the bike. I knew that not finishing was a distinct possibility and I was surprisingly calm about it. MS was running it as well, with a decent shot at a PR, so I saw no reason not to give it a go.

I planned on doing exactly what I did at ATM, a 3:1 run/walk and take it from there. My pre-race warmup felt good and I started the race in the 11-12 mm pace section. I was three-quarters of the way through the first mile (and of course on a walk segment) when I can upon the first race photographer. Oh hey there! 

Does this look like the face of someone less than a tenth of a mile away from a DNF?

I rounded the corner out of frame and began the trek towards Haines Point. In the span of a minute I started to feel discomfort in my left calf, decided to keep going forward, felt the discomfort approach pain, and then stopped. Just stopped. Turned off my Garmin. Made a u-turn. Took my bib off. Started the walk back to the start/finish line. It was quite anti-climactic, as I suppose most things are if you've hyped them up in your mind long enough. 

There was a moment there where I felt like I could have let it all wash over me. Start crying and shake my fist at the sky and wonder why the hell I cannot catch a break. But I didn't. I don't think I consciously chose not to break down. I think my mind knew it wasn't worth the emotional energy, after all the time I've already wasted feeling sorry for myself this year, and skipped right to moving on. I shivered in the rain, watched friends sprint to the finish, and celebrated MS's shiny new PR. 

Don't get me wrong, the DNF stung. But it could have been so much worse. This wasn't a goal race. It doesn't come close to what I've got my eyes on. Pushing through could have been catastrophic for the big scary goal to come. I've already dusted myself off and dug into this week of sweaty work. Live to run another day. 

Mojo wanted

This post has been half-drafted for a week now, and since I'm currently on my couch with a nasty cold it seems like the perfect time to pull it all together. 

2015 continues to be a wild ride for my body, my training, and how I want those things to contribute to my career and my life. I would be lying if I said I was handling it well all of the time. Some days I am happy to embrace what I can do and others I don't want to do what I CAN do because it isn't what I WANT to do. 

Running has never been just about becoming fit or trying to be fast. It has been a critical part of my self-care and stress management toolbox. Being injured not only ups the stress level in my life, but it also removes the main way I cope with stress. Double whammy. Now that I have the opportunity to start training again, I've lost a crucial component. MOJO. 

From early January into February of this year, I was GAME ON. 100% committed to training and nutrition. To everything I needed to do in order to crush that next big thing. Until I couldn't train. Setback after setback, fast forward to now. How do I get that mindset back? That commitment? As I've been rolling this all around in my head, I read a post from elite Oiselle athlete Stephanie Bruce. Discussing her return to the starting line, she says:  

"Sometimes you can want something so badly and take all the right steps to get there but it's not meant to be. Getting there however is where we learn who we are and what we're made of. Sometimes it's not so much the race we're training for but about our journeys to get to the starting line. It's about giving ourselves the chance to line up with sweaty palms, quivering legs and stare down the open road ahead which holds so much possibility."

That goal is still out there. I think I still want it. I think I'm just discouraged because it hasn't come together the way I wanted it to. I owe it to everyone who has endured my less-than-charming personality when I haven't been able to train. I owe it to myself. As Stephanie says, it might not turn out how I hope. But I need to find out what I'm made of. Create mojo where none exists just yet. But how?

Army 10 Miler recap

If you want the short short version, I can sum up the race in 2 words: pleasantly surprised.  For a tad more detail, continue reading. 

As any runner knows, race day is completely unpredictable. You can do everything right in the days, weeks, and months leading up to it and come race morning it could still all fall apart. I definitely did not do everything right leading up to the Army Ten Miler. I'm still not close to 100% healed, although the source of the pain just seems to change. I also made just about every newb mistake you can make in a training cycle, including using an overly ambitious training plan. Not only did my body not tolerate the training load well, I had the added bonus of hating on myself because of it. Also incredibly helpful. 

A little more than two weeks out, I brought someone much smarter than me into the mix. Coach K took over the sad remainder of my training cycle and probably banged his head into the wall a time or ten as he discovered how messed up my calves had become. You mean running through the pain ISN'T how things get better? Huh. In a feeble attempt at damage control, I had another run analysis done last Wednesday. I knew ATM was not going to be what I wanted it to be, but I had to figure out why I was in pain and how to fix it before entering into a marathon training cycle. I was 100% certain that something in my form was to blame and I was correct (an explanation for another post). 

With a professional opinion in hand (and Coach K in agreement with the results), a shake-up was made in my training plan. I was also strongly encouraged to re-consider attempting ATM. Since this post is clearly a race recap, you know I decided to run it. I had my reasons (both smart and less smart) and I definitely do not regret it. Friday and Saturday were rest days. Saturday night was spent making a pre-race checklist, assembling all the things, and taking the obligatory flat runner picture. 

#flystyle 

I was in bed by 10:30, had a little chat with God about the race, and conked out until I woke up at 4:41 am. The alarm was set for 5, but I guess my body thought I should just get going. ATM is a wave start and I was in wave 6 of 8 so I was not in a hurry to get out the door and to the starting area. I don't usually take my time on race morning but I did yesterday. I made my usual english muffin with peanut butter and ate it on the couch while I watched SportsCenter. Sipped on some water as I slowly got dressed. Foam rolled a little. Got my handheld ready (Nuun Plus and Grape Nuun, in case you care). Slipped 2 GUs in the pouch (Jet Blackberry and Just Plain, both with some caffeine). 

Once MS and I were ready, we headed out the door. We decided to drive in to Arlington from Fairfax and park at the local mall, as it was about as close to the Pentagon as you can get. Looked like hundreds of others had the same idea. We had a lot of time to stand around in our holding area before we were walked over to the start line. I went through a warm-up of sorts as we approached the start line, and timed it pretty well. Other than nerves about how my legs would feel once I started running, I felt good. The weather was incredible, the other racers were pumped up. It was hard not to get excited. 

Run-nerds, reporting for duty. 

I 100% believe that you cannot judge a run by the first mile, but I would be lying if I said miles 1 and 2 didn't have me second guessing myself. I had committed to a run/walk approach (5:1), and tried to focus on the cues that I'd be given during the run analysis, but my calves didn't get the message. I stopped to stretch a few times but nothing seemed to loosen up. Right after I crossed Memorial Bridge, I caught a break. I spotted another runner in her Oiselle singlet and trotted up to say hi. At the very least, it would be a needed but brief distraction. It turned out to be three amazing runners who pulled me through a really tough spot. Each was either sick or injured, so they were rocking a 3:1 interval and suggested I join. Since 5:1 wasn't working, why not?!

We chatted a bit as we approached mile 3, but I dropped back a little as the pace felt a little hard at that moment. Gel #1 went down after I passed the mile 3 marker, and that is where things turned around. I honestly don't know what changed, but things clicked. I stopped feeling discomfort in my lower legs. I kept the girls in my sight and could maintain the 3:1 easily. Through mile 5, I felt like I was getting stronger. I caught up to and eventually passed the girls. I saw MS coming the other way as he approached the 10k mark and gave him a thumbs up. The crowd support was good and I really felt like I'd hit a groove. 

Gel #2 went down during mile 7, leading up to the 14th Street Bridge. Having run it during MCM, I knew exactly what to expect and I had no plans to let it get the best of me. I ran out of water on the bridge but I knew there was a water station just past the end of the off ramp. I felt like I was doing work, but it felt good and I thought I could continue to maintain the effort and likely have a push at the end. A gracious volunteer refilled my handheld from their water pitcher just after mile marker 8 and from then on I just wanted to dig in. As good as I felt, I had no intention of stopping the interval approach. It was working, this wasn't an A race for me, and I didn't want to mess with a good thing. 

I could not see the finish line for quite some time, but I could hear it and spectators started the "you're almost there" "only 800 meters left" business. Knowing I did not run the tangents, I knew I had to wait for my Garmin to get well past 9.5 miles before I went for it. I drew from the energy of the crowd and the joy of knowing that I was going to finish the damn thing. I ran hard with whatever kick I had and once I crossed the line, I stopped the Garmin and literally jumped for joy. I really hope the race photographer caught it! Between the finish line, the finish area, and where the car was, a lot of walking happened. Maybe too much. But that smile wasn't going anywhere. 

Personal Worst? Whatevs, yo. Whatevs.

Super-special thanks to Kyle, MS, my family and #teamsexypace. Much love to Oiselle and Nuun, I'm so proud to represent your kick-ass brands and appreciate the amazing opportunities that you've given me. Head up, wings out!

What mustaches and running have in common

Just about a month ago I was contacted by the crazy-cool peeps at The Mustache Dache. If you haven't heard of their race series before, you are hearing about it right now.

It is the world's biggest mustache-themed running series. Aside from the obvious awesomeness of their theme, The Mustache Dache has a bigger purpose: raising funds and awareness of men's health issues (in particular: prostate/testicular cancer and mental health). I doubt that anyone today can say that their lives have not been touched in some way by either cancer or mental illness.

In the unlikely event that you have no experience with either, here are a few quick facts:

• 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. 1 in 2. 
• 1 in 6 men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their lifetime.
• Risk of being diagnosed with prostate cancer increases with age. 
• Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in men aged 15-35. 
• 1 in 4 adults in the United States will experience a mental health problem in a given year.
• Men in the United States are 4 times as likely to die by suicide than women.

No, I am not trying to bring you down. I am trying to make these issues real to you, as both have hit home for me. What can you do to help change those stats for the better? Run The Mustache Dache.

Events like this running series bring public attention to men's health issues. Men's cancers and mental illness are both difficult to talk about and The Mustache Dache provides a way open a conversation in a relaxed environment. A portion of the registration fees are donated to men's health charities and all registrants are given the opportunity to make an additional donation during the registration process. 

The Mustache Dache is being held in 16 cities across the country and also offers a virtual option. The virtual race is a 5k that will take place over Thanksgiving weekend. The folks at the Dache have given me a promo code just for my readers that will give you 10% off the registration fee. Participants get a sweet shirt and a medal. If you are a kid 12 or under you get a CAPE. I might have to be 12 or under for this one because capes are sweet. 

Here is your code: FALLDOWNGETUP and here is a direct link with the discount applied, if that works better for you: https://mustachedache-virtual-run.eventbrite.com/?discount=FALLDOWNGETUP

I am absolutely participating in this event, and I know that MS will be too. I have a strong suspicion that my sister will register Boo so he can get his sweet cape. Right, Sister? Let me know in the comments, on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram if you are registered. Lots of time to make a sweet outfit and get your friends or family on board as well!